Step Away from the Pert Plus

Just in case you don't get international news over there in the high-stress land that is Thai, here's an update from yours truly.

So, the freakin' terrorists ruin it for everyone yet again. They really need to find a new hobby.

Now, thanks to some boners over in Britain (they are referring to them as "homegrown" whatever the hell that means), we can no longer carry on any sort of liquid or gel toiletry onto airplanes. Heath, that means NO hair gel, NO toothpaste, NO THAI MASSAGE OILS. Ugh.

I have decided to quit my job and set up a "roach coach" of sorts outside the terminals at LAX and sell basic toiletries for outrageous prices to those who are aethetically conscious. Problem is, since you can't park outside the terminals, I may have to bail on the "roach coach" idea and just walk around in one of those vintage cigarette girl costumes and sell toothpaste in lieu of ciggys. Either way, I'm going to make a fortune. A fortune I tell you.

Pretty soon I think we'll all have to fly naked. And if that happens, I will be taking Greyhound everywhere.

Anyway, that's the news from here. As for the sore thumbs, perhaps you could borrow your bro's lame-o palm protectors and sew on sweet little thumb splints to wear during your massages. Could be a little uncomfy for the clients, but, that's the price they have to pay.

Ok, this Day Quil has gone to my head. I should go.

I love you and miss you tons!!

xoxoxoxo